innerscroll's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- finger foods I'm off from work today, yay! Isn't that wonderful, yet I really can't find anything productive to do. Maybe not productive, maybe just entertaining for me. It was suposed to rain all day today and part of me was hoping it would. I was hoping to use the weather as an excuse for my complete and total lack of motivation for anything at all today. It isn't even sunny out. It isn't raining but it isn't sunny, so I can't even really tan today. I can pretend to try to tan... yes... sounds like a plan. Louis came for lunch today. There was barely anything here for us to eat so I heated up some finger foods. Stuff like mini-quiches and cheese sticks and stuff. It royaly sucked. I am a pretty good cook and love preparing really nice meals so throwing a bunch of stuff in the oven for twenty minutes made me feel really cheep. It made me feel even worse when Louis just finished his plate without a word and crashed on the couch for a few minutes before I asked him to say something. I'm starting to feel like we're an old couple already. This week Louis exclaimed twice that we have been together for over a year, like it surprised him or something. I just don't feel special to him anymore and it's making me really depressed. I was thinking today about how often he took me out at the begining and the permanent smile he had on his face. It thrilled me. I just feel like an old toy. Like he's getting tired of me or he's too used to having me around. Like he just doesn't appreciate my company anymore. I let him know I feel this way every other day or so, but he just takes me in his arms and tells me I know he loves me. Well yeah... but it would be nice to have a bit of proof every once in a while. Louis' starting school again this week so the opportunity for us to spend some quality time together has pretty much gone. Maybe I should get us some strawberries and some wine for tonight. I think he would like that. I know I would really like that. I'll try once more to show him what I want him to do for me. 12:44 p.m. - 2005-06-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||