innerscroll's Diaryland Diary

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every worry

I just got back from school a few minutes ago. I wolfed down a baggel with cream cheese and jam and headed straight for diaryland.

I got an exam grade back. I was sure to have failed it, but it turns out I did ok. I passed with a C-. A decent grade for someone convinced she would get an F. It made me smile, I was really relieved. It made a big difference in my day.

I text messaged the boy-friend a whole bunch of times today. I really missed him. I wanted him to repply (once would have been nice) with his usual sweet messages, but he didn't. It upset me a little, so I called him. He was on lunch so I knew I wouldn't bother him, too much.
We were invited to a party on Saturday for a friend of mine. My friend Val is hosting the supper and she wanted to know how many of us would show up as quickly as we could let her know. I told Louis that I would say he's coming, even if he decides not to come. That way there will be more food instead of not enough if he changes his mind.
I think it intimidates him a bit. He likes my friends but feels out of place when he attends one of our get togethers. So when I told him about him being invited and that I told Val he was coming, he responded strangely. He said something like "so you're looking forward to seeing all those hot guys? You like being around attractive people don't you". (said in french) I'm getting used to comments like that from him. I know he worries about me being unfaithful to him alot, alot more than is necessary, but I am faithful and those comments hurt sometimes. Obviously I'm not going to the party to look at good looking guys, I'm going to wish a friend happy birthday and to spend a bit of time with him and my other close friends.

Louis's gone to shop and test out cars tonight. He wants to buy a new one by the spring. His car now is falling apart and is becoming dangerous to drive. I hope he'll be in a good mood when he gets back. I want to hold him and show him how much I care about him. I want to show him how useless it is for him to worry.

:) The sweety just called. He's really worried about me. His dad was asking him if I'm ok. He was telling Louis that I look depressed lately, that I don't smile as much as I used to. It might be true. Anyway, he says he can't wait to be in bed with me tonight. I'm happy to hear it. This guy really is the sweetest.

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5:34 p.m. - 2005-03-03

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